EXCITEMENT this week, with a little bit of a carpet cleaning emergency yesterday—a narrowly averted disaster. We’re gonna make it folks! For now!
I guess I should set the stage: So, it was Thursday around 2:15, and I’m still at the office (I work at an Insurance Company, but please don’t hate me, I’m not the devil I swear, I just do data entry!) and I’m entering that sweet spot in the day, where I start to fall asleep with my eyes open and I know it’s time to start the caffeine drip or else surrender to the sweet release of face-on-keyboard powernap and subsequent termination/loss-of-wellbeing/general spiral of despair and ruin.
So on the way back from the coffee maker, I check my phone to see I’ve missed several text messages from Todd, who is at the house. He does website development stuff from home, and he’s got a pretty good set-up with his desk in the corner of the ground floor living room, where he can keep an eye on Xander and hopefully get his work done before the girls are out of school (although I have no idea how he does it—I can barely manage a third of the crossword puzzle without interruption). So the first text starts with:
“OK don’t worry…”
And I’m jolted (FULLY AWAKE NOW) with adrenaline thinking,” oh no what happened now, is everybody ok, why would you start a conversation with this awful horrible line,” and then I scroll down to see his next message:
“It’s just a minor spill…”
And then a picture of the living room floor, and I swear it was like some kind of Rorschach test, just bright red splatters all across the carpet, basically from the bottom of the steps all over to the corner of Todd’s desk. It was like some lunatic had filled a water balloon with red wine and launched it from the balcony
“It’s just juice.”
And ok, so normally I’m pretty level-headed (I’ve SEEN some things) and a spill is a spill. It happens. I mean, if I wanted nice things that stayed nice, well, you know, I wouldn’t have any kids, or a husband, and actually, I’m usually pretty close to the source of the spill myself (you could say that I’m…spatially challenged…) so I know that’s just how life goes.
BUT, it is the last Thursday of the month, meaning that the day after this particular Thursday is going to be game night (meaning, the kids are heading over to Nanny’s house, meaning we get to dip into the homebrewed IPAs that Morgan and Taylor are bringing over…) and of course this month it’s at our house. I’m not particularly thrilled at the idea of showing off the new remodeling work Todd has done (replacing the old “real” fireplace with an electric one and reinstalling a tiled hearth that’s just gorgeous) and then picturing myself, in my tour-guide voice, having to explain, you know, “And this area right here,” pointing to the red splatter/abomination, “is where the most recent murder in our neighborhood took place, so just go ahead and step around it and we’ll move along.”
So I call Todd, and he’s already contacted the carpet cleaner (said he just Googled carpet cleaners in the area and picked one with the nicest-looking website) and they’ve got someone already en route (thank GOODness, I couldn’t believe they could get someone over so quickly). Name of the company was A-1 Carpet Service, and boy were we impressed. Todd says the cleaning crew was there in less than half an hour and they took a good look at the carpet and spill before they started. I guess they have a bunch of different kinds of cleaners depending on the spill and carpet material and how long it’s had to sink in and all that (you may have guessed I’m not much of a cleaner myself…). And then they just went to town on it.
By the time I had gotten the girls picked up from school and made it home, they were wrapping up, just drying the carpet and it was incredible, I could barely even tell where the stain had been, and the technicians were so friendly (they said they had seen “a lot worse…a loooooooot worse”), and basically left us with a salvaged living room carpet ready to go for the next night when our friends came over.
After the cleaners left I get the full story: Todd is clickety-clack programming away, and he’s got some Kool-aid next to him (I don’t understand it, but he is obsessed with Kool-Aid, like he’s some kind of connoisseur—he won’t even let me make the batch for him because he has some ultra-secret recipe, which I am going to guess is just MORE SUGAR). So Xander of course sees him sipping on this cup of sugary goodness, and wants a drink, and Todd (who is a pushover sometimes and is DEFINITELY going to be the one to explain things to Xander when he gets his first cavity) hands him the cup to take a sip. Which, it sounds like, is when Xander basically spikes the cup on the carpet (just like his mom!), accidentally of course. And voila! Your carpet has been adjusted!
But all in all, things went much more smoothly than I thought they would after seeing that first photo of the carpet, and in no time at all we were moving on to the next in the long string of crises that constitutes parenting!